Jealousy: How To Deal With It Head On
Jealousy is something that we all have felt at one time or another. I personally am pretty good about never allowing it to get the best of me, and there are a few key reasons why I believe it's never been too big of an issue past my childhood.
Firstly, I want you to know being jealous from time to time is normal. However, it is not normal for it to ruin your relationships with others or your relationship with yourself. Jealousy can range from something small like getting jealous when a friend got something you couldn't afford. Something a little bit bigger would be a time when you become upset with a friend for getting attention (ie.professional, in social media, or out on the town) and criticizing them for it. A common one, but in my opinion the worst kind is when someone is jealous that their significant other and is worried they will meet someone new.
How do we tackle being jealous on all these levels?
How do we tackle being jealous on all these levels?
1. Be OK with yourself:
Sounds simple right? Wrong! This is super hard, but it is SO important to know who you are, what you want, who you want in your life, and how to make it happen. If you find yourself changing (for the worse) around certain people, then maybe they shouldn't be a part of your life. Being OK with yourself is not being too critical of yourself, but it's about being truthful. Be honest, and make sure to give yourself praise WAY more often then criticism. Once you are happy with YOU I think you will be able to be happy for others.
2. Stop comparing yourself to others:
It's hard to do, but the minute you let people and their lives affect your opinion of yourself is the minute you lose yourself in a situation. Whether you compare yourself to someone and it makes your feel good or compare yourself to someone and begin shaming yourself, it's a lose-lose situation for you. Remember my last tip "be ok with yourself" and you won't need to compare yourself to everything everyone else has around you.
3. Start complimenting people and being positive:
It's hard to do, but the minute you let people and their lives affect your opinion of yourself is the minute you lose yourself in a situation. Whether you compare yourself to someone and it makes your feel good or compare yourself to someone and begin shaming yourself, it's a lose-lose situation for you. Remember my last tip "be ok with yourself" and you won't need to compare yourself to everything everyone else has around you.
3. Start complimenting people and being positive:
If you can't be positive then fake it till you make it to help you handle jealousy. If your friend is super happy and has something you want (ie. perfect relationship, new car, or great job) tell them how happy you are & you hope you will someday be able to share the same great news. Stop being a brat, and be happy when your friends are happy!
4. Face situations for what they are, not what you think they could be:
"Since I'm not getting attetion maybe he's cheating on me? I wonder if her parents paid for that? Maybe she lost weight because she doesn't eat enough." Stop. Don't be crazy. When you allow your thoughts to take over real life you have the ability to create fiction stories of what life could be. Take a step back and don't feed in to the crazy thoughts. Base your opinions off of facts and if you don't have proof to support your idea then "fogetta bout it".
5. Be a grown up and communicate:
Talk things out, and you are likely to resolve them (if it's worth resolving). If you shit talk behind someone's back to a crowd of people then you should be able to say it to their face. If you are jealous of your significant other, then ask to chat for a second to diffuse the situation instead of having a dramatic fit. Get the courage to face difficult situations maturely.
6. Learn from your mistakes:
When you feel jealousy try to deconstruct why you felt that emotion. Once you are able to address why you felt that way you might be able to avoid this from happening in the future. Remember this is a process, and it takes time.